Tag Archives: parenting

May 31

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Proverbs 14 & 15

Of my 37 years in public education, 25 of them were spent working with middle school children. There is something about that age group I just love. I had a principal who used to say you could tell the difference between a sixth and an eighth grader by the way they go through the halls. Sixth graders want to run everywhere. By the time they get to be eighth graders not only does their pace slow in the hall, it can be a challenge to keep them awake during a fifty minute class.

I loved being a part of the transition from child to the early teens. Their thinking changes. Their goals change. And attitude? Nuf said.

But as much as I enjoyed middle school kids I can honestly say I never won an argument with one. Proverbs 15:1 reminded me of that this morning. If a child was angry and I spoke to him or her in my anger, neither one of us was heard. And neither one of us was able to get to the bottom of the problem

But over the years I learned that if I stayed calm, we had a better chance of working things out. If I allowed myself to be sucked in to their anger, if I stooped to their level of frustration, it wasn’t pretty.

Have you found that to be true in your own relationships? Have you ever said something in anger you later regretted? Anger is not a sin. But how we express it can be.

What does Proverbs 15:1 say? “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” If you have a screaming match with your child do you think that will calm things down? Do you think they hear you better if you talk louder? If you are sarcastic or demeaning to your child, do you think that’s going to make them want to be better, to please you? Think again.

A gentle answer must be the key or it wouldn’t be written here in Proverbs. My prayer is that we will all learn to be angry and not sin, to keep our mouths closed while we are angry, knowing a harsh word stirs up anger.

Father, I pray for all of us that we will choose to control our tongues no matter how angry we get. Whether we are at the work place, in our home, or sitting on the stands watching our children play baseball. Bring to mind Proverbs 15:1 and help us to remember that a gentle answer turns away wrath. May we be wise, dear Lord, even in our anger.

May 26

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I Kings 10:1-13, 4:1-19, 29-34; 2 Chronicles 9:1-12; Proverbs 1

I think Solomon just might be the very first science professor. People came from all around to learn about God’s creation from Dr. Solomon. And he could answer all their questions. Solomon’s wisdom and his love for God were very well known.

The Queen of Sheba said something that stood out to me this morning. After spending time with Solomon she said… how happy your men must be.

The Queen acknowledged God’s power and his love for the nation of Israel. She recognized God’s blessing on Solomon. And she realized those around Solomon were blessed because of him.

So the question is – what do people say about your family because you are in it? Are you a husband, wife, dad or mom? Are you a grandparent, aunt, uncle, son or daughter? And are you representing God in such a way that people recognize it and say – how happy his family must be?

Do your children recognize Christ in you in the home you share with them? Are they blessed because Christ lives in you?

Solomon’s proverbs begin with “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Let’s put God first in our lives and receive his wisdom. And let that wisdom spill over into our every day lives.

May others look at our example and be able to say about our family, our church, our workplace – how happy they must be to have him (her) with them.

Father, I find myself wanting to pray for parents again this morning. May they live such godly lives that their children are blessed, that observers recognize your presence in their families, and when it is said … how happy they must be… may it truly be so. May parents fear and honor you, and raise their children with Godly wisdom. Bless Christian households today in such a way that unsaved neighbors and friends will want you in their lives, too.

May 17

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I Chronicles 27:1-29:22; I Kings 1:1-27

Parenting (and grand-parenting) is hard work. You want your children to be good, to listen to what you say. But then those adorable eyes look up at you and that impish grin grabs your heart and… well, you know.

I Kings 1:6 is a verse all parents should study. David had never asked his son Adonijah why he behaved badly. It implies David may never have said no to his son or punished him for disobeying. Now Adonijah was rallying people against David and was making himself king of Israel.

I’m  going to say some things that are not popular in modern-day parenting circles. Parents need to teach their children that disobedience is a sin and the consequences of sin hurt. We need to teach our children to obey us so that they learn how to obey God.

My nephew’s two year old had a plastic bat and he was pretending to hit a ball with it. Then he began hitting the couch. His mommy said, “Colton do not hit the furniture with that bat. If you do it again I will take it from you”.

So this little one came over to Aunt Connie and grinned his adorable grin and gently tapped the chair I was sitting in. My niece came over, took the bat and said, “I told you no.” Colton looked at me with those big brown eyes, silently pleading that I would be his savior. I shook my head and said, “Mommy told you she would take the bat if you hit the furniture”. 

It would have been easy to ignore this little act of rebellion. In fact, I have to say it was kind of cute. (oops… that’s the great-aunt speaking). But if Colton’s mommy had not followed through, what lesson would he be learning?

I often told the teachers I worked with… what you allow, you teach. If you allow a child to get away with something you are teaching them it’s ok to do that thing. Is that really the lesson we want our children to be learning? Because Jesus never says disobedience is ok.

I certainly don’t defend beating a child. But I do defend a slap on the bottom or back of a hand if that child is willfully disobeying. That’s not “violence” as some would say. It’s discipline. There is a difference.

Like I said, being a parent is tough. And I certainly don’t have all the answers. But Scripture does. God wants you to raise children who honor him, who recognize sin as sin,  and who will obey him when he calls them to do something. Where are they going to learn obedience if not from you? From TV? From their friends? In the music they listen to?

And here’s the other side of teaching Godly obedience. We can be angry at our children’s disobedience, we can be disappointed. But we also need to teach them that their behavior does not effect our love for them. Remember, while we were still sinners Jesus died for us. A loving God disciplines. A loving parent disciplines, too.

As people who love the children in our lives, let’s determine to raise them to love God and obey him.

I’m praying for you.

May 14

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2 Samuel 20:1-26; I Chronicles 22:1-19, Psalms 140, 29, 30

It must have been hard for David to realize God meant what he said when he told David Solomon would be the one to build the temple. David accepted it. But he couldn’t just pretend it didn’t matter.

So King David, more than a little controlling I think, set out to get everything ready for Solomon. David collected the wood, the precious metals, he hired the artisans and the construction workers. He sat Solomon down and went over the plans. He even wrote the dedication ceremony, knowing he would be dead when Solomon was king and the temple built.

I doubt there was one detail overlooked by David. It was that important to him.

I think God would ask us today how important is it to us to prepare our children for what’s ahead. Are they learning from us to love God’s Word, to respect his temple, to attend to every detail in obedience? Do they see in us someone who loves God and honors him with our lives? 

Solomon saw in his dad a man who loved God and was excited about serving him. I pray our children see the same in us.

April 1

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Judges 1:1-3:6, 17:1-13

Here’s something that made me sad. 2:10 tells us that after Joshua and his peers had died, another generation grew up who “knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel.”

How was that even possible so soon after God had miraculously rescued them from slavery? How could they not talk about manna from heaven, shoes that didn’t wear out, water from rocks, crossing seas and rivers on dry ground, 24 hours of daylight, not to mention the pillar of fire and cloud? I know these people hadn’t witnessed many of these things first hand, but those things are what made them who they were in the sight of the nations. How could their children not know?

My dad loved history. He read about it, watched programs about it, talked about it. But I have to say I didn’t inherit his love of learning about the past.

Maybe that’s what happened to Israel. Maybe when parents talked about their grandparent’s journey, their teenagers rolled their eyes and thought, what does that have to do with me? Boring!

It’s our responsibility… and our privilege… to pass on to our children the good news of Jesus Christ. Not as some historical figure who lived an interesting life 2,000 years ago. But someone who is alive today, who radically changed our lives when we let him into our hearts, someone with whom we have a vital relationship today. And someone who wants to be as real to our children as we are.

Do your children know about how your life was changed when you met Jesus? Have you shared with your children how he is working in your daily life? Do they know what you are learning from your time in the Word? Can your children see in you that Jesus is more than an historical figure? Don’t assume they know without you intentionally sharing it with them.

If we don’t, we run the danger of raising a generation who neither knows the Lord nor what he has done for his people throughout the ages. Let’s determine to make Jesus real in their lives so that they will do the same for the next generation, too.

Father, again today I pray for parents. May they be intentional about sharing you with their children on a day to day basis. And I pray for grandparents, aunts, and uncles. We who love children not our own. May we be faithful as well, as we show our loved ones that Jesus is alive and relevant in 2013, that following you is the coolest, most exciting, and most blessed way to live.

January 22

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Gen 5:1-4, I Chronicles 1:34, Gen 25:19-26, Gen 25:7-11, Gen 25:27-26:35

Did you notice when you read God’s Word today that when Abraham died both Isaac and Ishmael buried him? I wonder what the relationship between the two brothers was like at this time. Was there reconciliation? Did they learn how to be friends by then?

Noticeably absent from the funeral are the sons born to Abraham after Sarah died. Genesis 25:6 tells us he sent the boys away to live in the east, to get them away from Isaac.

But here’s what I noticed today. Verse 5 says while he was still alive Abraham gave gifts to the sons of his concubines. Abraham gave them THINGS. Maybe he gave them anything they wanted. He was wealthy enough.

But hear me out, parents. You can’t buy you children’s love. Nothing can equal the time you invest in them from day one. If you are too busy to go to a soccer game you are too busy. And if you rationalize your excessive work ethic by telling yourself you are doing it for them, so they can have the THINGS they want, you are missing the point. They want you! They need you. They need to know you are on the sidelines, cheering them on. They need to know they are more important to you than a paycheck or a promotion. They need to know they can count on you to be there for them in good times and bad.

I promise you if your children get used to life without you when they are young, they will have no problem living life without you when they are older.

Your children are in your homes for such a short time. And you can never get that time back. Ask Abraham. His sons didn’t even go to his funeral.

God I pray again today for parents. Give them the ability to balance work and home. And may the scales always tip towards home.

I hope I’ve given you some things to think about each morning. But if you get a minute, I’d love to hear what God is teaching you from his Word, too. Forgive me if I don’t respond right away. I’m new at this blog thing and am just learning my way around. I promise I’ll try to get better.

Thank you for reading my posts. I am praying for you.

January 20

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Gen 19-21, 25:12-18 and I Chronicles 1:28-31

How perverted were the men of Sodom? Did Lot participate in their sin? We read he feared for the safety of the three travelers. But he offered his young daughters to his evil neighbors, knowing the girls would most likely die a painful and humiliating death.

We see that, while Lot and his daughters were spared when Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, his wife disobeyed and was killed. Lot and his daughters were saved but the influence of living in Sodom went with them.

Lot’s daughters were so desensitized to sexual sin they didn’t think twice about sleeping with their own father. They even rationalized their own perversions by saying they did it in order to preserve Lot’s lineage.

We live in a sinful world where the same kind of sexual perversion is considered the new normal. We watch TV and invite violence and sex into our living rooms. Even Christians laugh at things God destroyed Sodom for. Our children have access to the internet in the palms of their hands. We are a people who are no longer easily shocked and saddened by sin. Are we raising a desensitized generation?

God, I am convicted. I know I have allowed sin to have a foot in the door of my heart. I ask that you make me aware of the things that displease you and help me to take a stand, to be set apart and to live a life that attracts others to you. I pray for parents. Give them wisdom. Help them to protect their dear children from the influences that make it seem like following you is lame.

Jaunuary 4

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Gen10, 11 and I Chronicles 1

I didn’t realize the sons of Ham were the Canaanites who lived in Sodom and Gomorrah. The sins of the father?

I’m not a parent but I worked with a lot of parents over the years. I’ve seen caring, involved, loving parents and I’ve seen self-centered, mean and distant parents. And I have observed that the influence any parent has on a child is great.

I’ve seen a dad openly hate his own mother, then wonder why his adult children don’t have a close relationship with him. I’ve seen the excited look in the eyes of a child as he proudly shows his artwork to his mother, only to have her dismiss it with a nod. I’ve seen the hurt in that child’s eyes. And no matter how encouraging and supportive I tried to be, the damage was done.

Parents who divorce because they’ve fallen out of love, then tell themselves their children are better off are fooling themselves. Their kids would be better off learning forgiveness by watching their parents forgive, learning to love by watching their parents choose to love each other in spite of dirty dishes and unpaid bills. They would be better off learning about commitment watching their parents work through the tough things in life together.

Let’s face it. Children are inconvenient. They cry in the middle of church. They poop when you’re ready to walk out the door. They cling when you want your space. They have soccer games and music recitals, homework and friend trouble. And let’s not even talk about how much money  it costs to put food in their mouths (which half the time they won’t eat) or shoes on their feet (which have to be acceptable to their school friends)

Ham sinned against his father Noah. Years later his children were destroyed by God for their sinful lifestyle. Coincidence? I don’t think so. My prayer is that parents will look to God for direction and strength because those children in their homes are watching and learning.