Tag Archives: Mother’s Day

May 12; You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty

Psalms 55, 58, 61-63; 2 Samuel 17:24-18:18; I Chronicles 2:17

I’m going to be honest. Mother’s Day is not my favorite holiday. My own mother has lived with Jesus since 1996, and I miss her. I am glad that after all these years of only memories of her, those memories no longer hurt. In fact, I take great joy in remembering this sweet, gentle spirit who I was blessed to call, “Mom.”

I will admit to a hint of jealousy toward those of you who are able to hug your mother today, even those of you whose moms can’t remember who you are. I’d love to wrap my arms around my mother today.

Mother’s Day is also a reminder to me that I’m not one. I’ve never been, “Mom,” to anyone, and most days I’ve come to grips with it.  But ever since Mom died, I chose to make this one day a year my personal pity part. I did not go to church on the second Sunday in May for decades. I reserved this holiday as one day to feel the hurt and disappointment, and to wallow in my sadness. (Poor me.)

Now I have responsibilities at church that make playing hooky difficult. So I’ll go to church today, a bit reluctantly. And wait until I get home to feel sorry for myself. Or maybe I’ll decide to not feel sorry for myself at all.

I know that many women hurt worse than me on Mother’s Day. I’ve never buried a child. I don’t have a child living with addiction, or running from God. I don’t have a child in jail, or refusing to speak to me. Those situations must magnify the hurt of being a mother whose heart is broken on a day when motherhood is celebrated.

It might be easy for those of us who hurt to be resentful of those of you who have your children around you today. But let me say this:

Happy Mother’s Day!

This day is not about “womanhood.” This is a day to celebrate you who have the blessing and responsibility to raise babies to adults, to nurture and care, to discipline and hold children who God knit together inside you. It’s also for you women who love and raise children not your own, step moms, grandmas, adoptive moms.

We celebrate you. Don’t think you have to throw out how important we childless women are. This day is not about us. And don’t feel guilty if some of us can’t hide our disappointment, and sadness. You are certainly not responsible for how we feel.

You are being honored today for your position as Mother, as you should be. Enjoy it. Celebrate it. You are blessed. And not allowing yourself to celebrate for fear of hurting someone’s feelings might be diminishing what God has done for you. Don’t worry about us. Most of us can say we are blessed in so many other ways.

David says this in Psalm 62:

One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard; that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving. Surely you will reward each person according to what he has done.

Today is a day to celebrate Moms. And you will be rewarded accordingly for loving and raising the children God gave you. What an honor! What an awesome reason to celebrate!

The rest of us will be rewarded according to what we do, too. May God find us faithful.

So, again I say, Happy Mothers’ Day, Moms! Enjoy your day to feel pampered, spoiled, appreciated, loved. May God bless you and make you a blessing to those who call you “Mom.”

May 8 – Mothers Without Children

Psalms 25, 29, 33, 36, 39

Today is Mother’s Day. It’s a day for these precious women to be pampered and celebrated. If you are a Mom, I hope it’s a blessed day for you with your family. My own mother, who has lived with Jesus for twenty years now, is a blessing to me still. I wish I could give her a hug.

But Mother’s Day isn’t a happy day for every woman out there. Some mothers have buried children and feel their loss more deeply today. Some mothers are estranged from their children. Some mothers carry burdens for their children; those who are not living for the Lord, or have devastating illnesses, or are struggling because of choices made. I pray for you, if your heart is heavy on this Mother’s Day.

There are some women out there who have been unable to give birth. Their hearts long to be Moms, and their inability is exaggerated today. It’s hard to sit back and watch other people celebrate, when your heart is broken. I’m praying for you, too.

But there is another group of women I’d like to celebrate today. It’s those of you who chose life for your child, who allowed your children to be raised by other parents. I hate the term, “gave a child up.” In reality, you “loved your child up.”

Years ago, I knew a 16 year old girl who chose life and adoption for her daughter. The lawyer handling the adoption said something I never forgot. She said the girls who are mature enough to make this decision would probably make decent mothers. Their selfless love wants only what is best for their children. This girl realized that at 16, without her family’s support, she could not provide the best life for her little girl. That takes enormous maturity and strength.

As a school counselor I dealt with several too-young mothers. I remember sitting in my office, talking to the mother of a pregnant 14 year old. That mother decided her daughter would have an abortion because, “I can’t take care of it, and there’s no way I could let someone else raise my grandchild.”

So she killed her grandchild.

That’s what saddens me. Abortion is acceptable in our society. The killing of babies happens every day. It’s those of you who choose life who are often scorned and carry the shame.

I want you to know there is one person who is celebrating you today. I pray for your children, that their homes are happy, that they are being raised with the love of the Lord and their parents. And I pray that you can take a measure of satisfaction that you did what was best for that little one, even as your heart might be missing them today.

Happy Mother’s Day. Let yourself rejoice in the fact that you are a mother who “loved her child up.”