Tag Archives: parenting

August 4 – Your Children’s Children

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2 Kings 20-21

Every time I read this account of the life of King Hezekiah, I get angry. Why God answered his prayers I don’t know. When God promised to heal the king in three days, Hezekiah asked for a sign. He couldn’t wait three days? Then, when God told Hezekiah that because he had sinned, Babylon would defeat the nation, steal everything Hezekiah had worked for, and capture Hezekiah’s sons, Hezekiah thought, “Is it not so, if there will be peace and truth in my days?”

Yes, Hezekiah your life will be just fine. It’s your children and your children’s children who will realize the consequences for your sin. Happy?

I know Hezekiah did a lot of good while he was king. I just happen to think he ended badly. And his son, Manasseh brought back idol worship when he became king. In fact, under Manasseh’s reign the Jews acted worse than the heathen nations around them.

Then when Hezekiah’s grandson Amon became king, he continued where Manasseh left off. Quite a downward spiral that began, I believe, with Hezekiah’s self-serving attitude.

Just wondering, parents, what is it your children are learning from you? Obedience? Worship? Self-sacrifice? Integrity? Compassion? Love of Scripture? The fear of God?

You may be doing alright in your personal walk with the Lord. But what about the dear ones who are following you? Are you preparing them to know God, to love and serve Him? Or are you satisfied knowing you’re ok, and let them fend for themselves?

I think you know how I’m praying.

June 20 – Parenting 101

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Ecclesiastes 7-12

Just reading over these chapters doesn’t do justice to the wisdom here. I find the book of Ecclesiastes to be one I need to read slowly, and take time to digest it all. I don’t have the time, or even the desire, to dissect every verse on this blog. But I would like to share one verse that God used to get my attention today.

Since yesterday was Father’s Day, I guess I am still thinking about parents and parenting. Here is God’s advice for parents, given through Solomon in 8:11:

Because the sentence against an evil deed is not executed quickly, therefore the hearts of the sons of men among them are given fully to evil.

1) Don’t do that. 2) I told you not to do that. 3) How many times do I have to tell you to stop? 4) If you do that again, I’m going to spank you. 5) Do you want a spanking? 6) Did you hear me? 7) I’m tired of telling you to stop. 8) Stop!

Sound familiar? Your child willfully disobeys you. Not once, eight times in this example. And what you’ve taught your child is that they can break your rules eight times before they have to obey. Sometime your child learns they never have to obey because your threats are meaningless.

WHAT YOU ALLOW, YOU TEACH. Not only does the guilty child learn that lesson, so does everyone within hearing distance.

Look at the crime rate here in the US compared to countries that hand down swift and harsh punishment for breaking the law. What you allow, you teach.

Parents, it is your responsibility to raise children who are not “given fully to evil,”  as Solomon says. How you discipline your child for disobedience makes all the difference in the world.

And it’s a lesson your child just might take into eternity. It’s that important.

 

June 9 – WHACK!

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Proverbs 19-21

When I was in junior high (about a hundred years ago, I think) it was not uncommon to be sitting in the classroom and hear the door open just a crack. We could hear one door after another all the way down the hall open in the same way. We’d all sit up a little straighter, eyes wide open, and no one, not even the teacher most of the time, would speak.

Then we would hear that dreaded, WHACK. Sometimes we would even hear it again, WHACK! Often we’d hear a teacher scolding the guilty student in such a way there could be no mistake. A rule had been broken, and this is what happens when rules are broken.

Solomon says: When a scoffer is punished, the naive becomes wise… (21:11) You can bet more than one student learned an important lesson from those paddlings back in junior high. I know I did. I never wanted the student in the hall to be me! I became a rule-follower. It seemed the wise thing to do.

Those days are long gone because someone was more concerned about the guilty child’s ego. I find myself wanting to get up on my soapbox. Especially in light of the recent convicted rapist, Brock Turner’s light sentence, the unbelievable statement he read at sentencing, and his own father’s statement after the fact.

Let’s make it personal. Parents, do your children know the rules of your home? Are the rules enforced consistently? Are the consequences swift and painful? Hear me when I say if we don’t teach them this truth on a small scale, they won’t understand it on a larger scale. And they’ll grow up to think the consequences for breaking God’s rules are no big deal, either.

I shudder to think about the lesson other young people have learned from the judge’s decision in the Turner case. Because lessons have been learned. The doors of the classroom were opened, and instead of hearing the WHACK, they heard the teacher pat the guilty child on the back and send him on his way.

 

The way you discipline your children, the way our society disciplines law-breakers, is done in a classroom occupied by others. When the guilty are punished, the naive become wise. That’s what Solomon said through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

I pray that we are raising wise children instead of children who will remain naive. Just the other day we learned that naivety is a death sentence.

It’s that serious.

 

Feb 29 – Tough Questions From Five-Year-Olds

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I was talking to a couple of mothers of young children recently. The mother of a kindergartener said her son came home and asked, can boys marry boys? He told his mom, “Johnny’s dad wears dresses.”

The mother of a four-year-old said he asked her who he should marry. Could he marry his cousin?

When is it appropriate to talk to your kids about life in the twenty-first century? I pray for all the parents out there. Your child will grow up in a world where homosexual marriages are as common as divorce. (I say that because when I was growing up you rarely heard about people getting a divorce, especially among Christians. Today, you hear it all the time.)

I’m not going to tell you how to raise your children. But I would suggest you sit down today with your spouse and decide what you are going to say to your kids when they come to you with those hard questions. Get out your Bibles. Read what God has to say about the issues. Prepare in advance to hear those hard questions. Because they will come.

I would encourage you to not meet those questions with horror. And always, always make prayer a part of any of those conversations. You might even ask your five-year-old to pray that God will guard his heart, that God will give him the ability to know the truth according to Scripture and honor God with his own choices. Help your children to separate the sin from the sinner, so they can demonstrate God’s love to people who are different without accepting their choices.

Get ready, parents. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. But God is able to give you the words to encourage  your children, to answer them in a way that will honor God.

I’m praying for you. You’ve got an enormous responsibility there in your home.

I’m praying for your children. I’m praying that God will raise up children who will continue to live for Him, regardless of where the world is heading.

Dear God, I do pray for parents today. Our world is spinning out of control, and unless we anchor our kids, they will get caught up in its craziness. Give parents wisdom, clarity concerning your Word. Help them to raise loving children who aren’t swayed by popular opinion. Walk with us in an observable way today, and may Jesus be seen in us no matter our age.

 

Jan 30 – Raising Moses

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Exodus 1-3

Moses was raised by an Egyptian woman. So how did he come to believe in the God of Israel? His adoptive mother must have told Moses about his birth family. Did she also tell him about the God they worshiped? How else would Moses recognize God’s voice, and obey Him?

Moses was raised in a pagan society. Yet he rejected the false gods and followed the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The Bible isn’t clear about those years Moses spent in Pharaoh’s house. But I think we can conclude that somehow, he was introduced to the One True God while growing up there. I’d like to believe his Egyptian mom had been touched by the influence of his Jewish mom who tended to Moses until he was weaned. Maybe she was the one who taught Moses to honor God. Just a thought.

I can’t help but pray for parents and grandparents today. Our world is every bit as pagan as was that in Moses’ day. Do your children know the God of Creation? Can they recognize His voice amid all the other voices vying for their attention? Are you raising children who know the Truth according to Scripture plus nothing?

Dear God, May You raise up an army of people like Moses because their parents lived and taught them according to Your Holy Word. May our children reject the influences of a society that rejects You. May they recognize Your voice. And may You give our children courage to follow You only.

The Belt

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This post is a bit different from the ones you are used to seeing from me. It’s not based on any scripture I read today. It is, however, a lesson from God’s Word in action.

I went to the funeral yesterday of a man who lived his life according to the Bible. He was a godly, prayerful, joyful man who demonstrated God’s love in every aspect of his life.

His adult daughter wrote a letter to her dad and asked the pastor to read it at the service. It was a beautiful tribute to her father. In that letter, she shared an experience with her dad that changed her life.

She admitted that, as a teenager, she did things that concerned her parents. She went to places she should not have gone. And it was at one of those places that her father came to get her. He took her home, and sat with her in her bedroom. He said something like this:

“I’m at my wits end. I’ve tried to punish you, ground you, scold you, for the things you are doing. I see the road you’re traveling is heading to disaster and I don’t know what else I can do to stop you from going there. I love you, and you are breaking my heart. Right now what I need you to do is put yourself in my place. I want you to feel what I feel when I have to punish you for your choices.”

At this point, he took off his belt and handed it to her. “You deserve to be punished for disobeying me. So I want you to hit me with this belt. I want to take your punishment, so you know what it does to me every time I have to punish you.”

The daughter said she could not do it. She could not inflict pain on her dad for something she had done. And it was then she gave her life to the Lord.

This young woman saw Jesus in the face of her father.

You know, don’t you, that Jesus did much more for you than offering to be whipped with a belt. He suffered. He died a painful death on the cross. He was rejected by his own Father, so you wouldn’t have to be. Consider that for a minute.

I pray that you will thank Jesus for taking your punishment, by accepting Him as your Savior. I pray that you will think twice before you commit that sin that cost Him so much.

And, parents. I hope you’ll take something from this father’s example. I think it’s parenting at its finest.

I’m praying for you.

__________________

I am adding to this post a few days after I initially published it. I had lunch with this man’s widow yesterday and she shared the rest of the story which I think is really important.

What the daughter did not share in her letter was that on that night when she had this encounter with her dad, he ended up whipping her with his belt. He had offered to take the punishment for her, but just because she refused to allow him to, it didn’t mean the punishment didn’t have to be paid.

Friend, that is is something you need to understand. Your sins and mine WILL be paid for. There will be punishment for every sin we’ve ever committed. Jesus is offering to take that punishment. In fact, he already has. Now it’s up to you to allow him to cover your sins with his blood. Or you can refuse the offer and take the punishment yourself.

Someone is going to get the belt. It’s either going to be Jesus or you. Your choice.

Twelve

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I have a special place in my heart for twelve-year-olds. I spent 25 of my 37 years in public education in the middle school. I loved being a part of the chick struggling to get out of the shell, that awkward child/adult, learning how to fly on its own.

So when I read the passage in Luke 2 this morning about Jesus at the age of twelve, I felt drawn to this youngster. Fully human, he must have looked like any middle-schooler walking down the halls of my school, tripping over growing feet, with the energy of a child, wanting the sophistication of an adult. And like most twelve-year-olds, he assumed his parents knew what he was doing.

Let me be clear, Jesus did nothing wrong. There was no disobedience or blatant disregard of his parents wishes. Let’s face it. Parents leave their kids behind all the time, thinking the other parent has the child with him or her. Ask my sister and my brother-in-law. They left their infant son at church – twice – thinking the other had my nephew with them. Thank goodness they live only a couple miles from the church, unlike Mary and Joseph!

What I love about the pre-teen Jesus is his eagerness to talk about spiritual things, to read and discuss Scripture at such a young age. He was learning… and teaching. It’s the same relationship I had with so many twelve-year-olds over the years. Me helping them to learn at the same time they were teaching me. Yes, I love this boy Jesus.

I am reminded that our youth need to be grounded in Scripture, too. They need to be spending time in Bible believing churches where Jesus is proclaimed the only way to the Father. Jesus was not too young to have a heart eager to grow spiritually. Neither are our children.

I’m praying for twelve-year-olds today.

June 16

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I miss my Dad. It’s been nine months since he died so this is my first Father’s Day I don’t get to celebrate with him. Dad didn’t like getting gifts so we quit that years ago. But I always sent him a card. And he always opened it and pretended to look for money inside. And I always laughed.

Dads are so important to their children no matter how old their children are. Men, you have such an influence on those precious ones you have in your home – for better, or for worse.

Children need to see godly men.

Whether or not you have children of your own you can be that man in the lives of nieces and nephews, grandchildren, family friends, or neighbors. You can be that godly influence as a mailman, a mechanic, a doctor, a coach.

And if you are a godly father, a godly man I celebrate you today. The psalmist encourages you to trust God. He’s your help and your shield. God will bless those who fear him – small or great alike.

Then in Psalm 115:14&15 the psalmist pens what I pray for you today:

May The Lord make you increase,
both you and your children.
May you be blessed by The Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

Happy Father’s Day, men of God.

May 31

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Proverbs 14 & 15

Of my 37 years in public education, 25 of them were spent working with middle school children. There is something about that age group I just love. I had a principal who used to say you could tell the difference between a sixth and an eighth grader by the way they go through the halls. Sixth graders want to run everywhere. By the time they get to be eighth graders not only does their pace slow in the hall, it can be a challenge to keep them awake during a fifty minute class.

I loved being a part of the transition from child to the early teens. Their thinking changes. Their goals change. And attitude? Nuf said.

But as much as I enjoyed middle school kids I can honestly say I never won an argument with one. Proverbs 15:1 reminded me of that this morning. If a child was angry and I spoke to him or her in my anger, neither one of us was heard. And neither one of us was able to get to the bottom of the problem

But over the years I learned that if I stayed calm, we had a better chance of working things out. If I allowed myself to be sucked in to their anger, if I stooped to their level of frustration, it wasn’t pretty.

Have you found that to be true in your own relationships? Have you ever said something in anger you later regretted? Anger is not a sin. But how we express it can be.

What does Proverbs 15:1 say? “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” If you have a screaming match with your child do you think that will calm things down? Do you think they hear you better if you talk louder? If you are sarcastic or demeaning to your child, do you think that’s going to make them want to be better, to please you? Think again.

A gentle answer must be the key or it wouldn’t be written here in Proverbs. My prayer is that we will all learn to be angry and not sin, to keep our mouths closed while we are angry, knowing a harsh word stirs up anger.

Father, I pray for all of us that we will choose to control our tongues no matter how angry we get. Whether we are at the work place, in our home, or sitting on the stands watching our children play baseball. Bring to mind Proverbs 15:1 and help us to remember that a gentle answer turns away wrath. May we be wise, dear Lord, even in our anger.

May 26

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I Kings 10:1-13, 4:1-19, 29-34; 2 Chronicles 9:1-12; Proverbs 1

I think Solomon just might be the very first science professor. People came from all around to learn about God’s creation from Dr. Solomon. And he could answer all their questions. Solomon’s wisdom and his love for God were very well known.

The Queen of Sheba said something that stood out to me this morning. After spending time with Solomon she said… how happy your men must be.

The Queen acknowledged God’s power and his love for the nation of Israel. She recognized God’s blessing on Solomon. And she realized those around Solomon were blessed because of him.

So the question is – what do people say about your family because you are in it? Are you a husband, wife, dad or mom? Are you a grandparent, aunt, uncle, son or daughter? And are you representing God in such a way that people recognize it and say – how happy his family must be?

Do your children recognize Christ in you in the home you share with them? Are they blessed because Christ lives in you?

Solomon’s proverbs begin with “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Let’s put God first in our lives and receive his wisdom. And let that wisdom spill over into our every day lives.

May others look at our example and be able to say about our family, our church, our workplace – how happy they must be to have him (her) with them.

Father, I find myself wanting to pray for parents again this morning. May they live such godly lives that their children are blessed, that observers recognize your presence in their families, and when it is said … how happy they must be… may it truly be so. May parents fear and honor you, and raise their children with Godly wisdom. Bless Christian households today in such a way that unsaved neighbors and friends will want you in their lives, too.