I have to believe Eliphaz meant well. But sometimes good intentions aren’t enough. Here are some things that spoke to me about the exchange between Eliphaz and his friend, Job:
First of all, if you want to encourage someone or support them during hard times, I wouldn’t start out by saying, “Practice what you preach.” Sometimes godly people, people who have encouraged others in the past, need encouragement for themselves. It’s not a sin. It’s life.
Secondly, telling a hurting person they must be guilty of SOMETHING or God wouldn’t be punishing them is a theology straight from hell. This whole, “God wants you to be healthy and successful” lie does as much harm as anything I can think of to keep Christians from a right relationship with God. Satan loves that.
I went to Dr. Wiersbe’s “With the Word” again today and he pointed out something I hadn’t seen before. Eliphaz proceeds to tell Job and anyone within hearing distance about his “encounter” with God. Red flag!
“Avoid those who make their experience the only test of truth.” (p. 285, WTW)
I know Eliphaz didn’t have a Bible on his bedside table. But most of us do. God is not going to speak to anyone any other way than through Scripture. His words are written there. Test everything you hear or read by what is written in the Bible. And I would say, be skeptical when you hear someone tell you God gave them a special message, if it doesn’t come from Scripture.
Lastly, there is something about the exchange between these two friends that makes me sad. Read 6:26-28. Job says, “look at me…”
Look at me. Hear me. Empathize with me. Love me. See me.
Too often we think the person who is hurting needs answers, or direction to fix things. We come up with great sounding words, maybe quote a Bible verse or two, because we want to say the right thing that will relieve their suffering. Good intentions. But…
Job reminds me to stop talking. To take a breath and just look at the person who is hurting. I hate it when someone says to a person who has lost a loved one, “God needed another angel,” or “It was his time,” or even “She’ll always be with you, looking down from heaven,” or with any hardship: “It was God’s will.”
If that’s the only encouragement you have, just be quiet. Sometimes there are no answers. Throwing out meaningless platitudes do nothing to let the hurting person know you are seeing them, really present with them in their agony.
And as I read these chapters today, I realize that is what Job really needed. He needed Eliphaz just to be present with him in his suffering. Sometimes there are no words that can take away someone’s hurt. Maybe it’s not even our place to try.
I’ll look at what Bildad has to teach me tomorrow. Looking forward to that.
Hey, Happy New Year! I pray that 2018 will find you walking with the Lord, being used by Him to lead others to the Savior, and growing in grace and knowledge of Jesus. Be in the Word every day. Pray every day. And expect to see God work mightily when you are obedient. It’s going to be a great year, my friend, as we move ahead as He leads.