Tag Archives: tragedy

Don’t Make It About You

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Job

They made it about them. Job’s friends didn’t listen to him. Not really. They all ended up telling Job how he had hurt their feelings. They were quick to talk in generalities, but none of them even acknowledged Job’s honest distress, or tried to understand what he was feeling.

Job was hurting. Job was lost and sick and confused. But his friends never once considered where Job was coming from. Instead, they all had something to say about “them,” those wicked people out there, the greedy, the rich, the guilty. Their speeches were impressive.

And meaningless.

The issue was Job’s horrible tragedy. But they made it about them. I’m reading from the New Living Translation this year and I had to laugh at how they put Job’s plea:

Listen to what I am saying. That’s one consolation you can give me. Bear with me, and let me speak. After I have spoken, you may resume mocking me. (21:2-3)

You go, Job!

Do you know someone who is hurting? One of the best things you can do for your friend is listen. Not talk. Listen past his (or her) words and into his heart. Put aside the cliche’s (God knows best, you are strong, you can do this, pray about it, God’s in control, etc., etc., etc.) and just listen. Take in what he is saying and try to understand without thinking about solutions, or even thinking about your own experiences.

Your friend may be asking questions – but he probably isn’t ready to hear the answers you think you have. He wants you to hear him. Give him that respect.

And remember, your friend is hurting. It’s not about you. Don’t make it be.

August 14; What’s Fair?

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Ezekiel 17:1-19:14, 20:1-29

When bad things happen, the temptation is there to think, “That’s not fair,” “Why that person?” “Why me?” People have been known to shake their fists at God when they think they don’t deserve whatever hardship has come their way, when they think He’s not being fair.

Ezekiel will tell us things in this life aren’t fair – because WE are not fair. In reality, God is the only fair one around.

Let me ask you this: What would your requirements be for someone to be able to live a trouble-free life? Think about it. Maybe jot down the things a person would have to believe or do in order to get a free pass on problems.

Ask a friend or your spouse to make their own list. Put that challenge out to your co-workers, your Sunday School class, your HOA:

“Everybody, write down what you believe should be required for a person to be able to avoid disease, heartache, and tragedy. What are the things that ought to result in happiness?”

I would venture to say the odds of getting the exact same list from the majority are pretty slim. I’d be surprised if two people had the exact same requirements listed. How fair would it be for any one of you to determine how a person should live in order to escape hardship? We all have different ideas of what is fair.

Now, let’s ask people in a remote African village what they think about your list. Would it be fair to expect them, or a homeless person, or a Guatemalan refugee to follow your rules? How likely are they to go to church regularly, or give generously to charities, or volunteer at soup kitchens? You would be unfair to expect them to adopt a rescue puppy, or to coach their kid’s soccer team in order to escape hardship.

Here are God’s requirements for living a trouble-free life: THERE ARE NONE. He makes it clear that as long as there is sin in the world, bad things happen. So God defined sin for us so that we would know that all of us have sinned.  He set forth a plan that is the same for you as it is for me or the people in that African tribe.  He provided one way of cleansing sin, through the blood of the Savior Jesus Christ. And He promises to be with His children and help us navigate through this life until we get home. Where, by the way, we will live that trouble-free life we’re looking for.

God’s plan is fair because it has nothing to do with our middle class American values, or a world-view of tolerance and acceptance. It has nothing to do with church attendance, or cash flow. God’s plan is fair because it has everything to do with HIM.

I don’t think it’s a sin necessarily to ask God, “Why?” when bad things happen. I just think it’s a waste of time. The answer is pretty clear. If we think God owes us a good life just because we are good people, we are in for a world of hurt. Because none of us are all that good.

So, what’s fair? There is only one answer to that question. God is fair. Period.