Tag Archives: revenge

They Deserved It

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Genesis 34-35

Rather than repenting of their sinful act of revenge, Simeon and Levi justified the murder of hundreds of men with, “They deserved it.”

It’s tempting to think the same when we hear that guy at work who took credit for your idea is getting a divorce, or when that reckless driver who lives down the street gets in a car accident, or when that childhood bully who made seventh grade miserable for you gets cancer. These days there are some who think people deserve to have their cars blown up, or an assassin’s bullet aimed at a man’s head simply because they have different opinions than their’s. Wanting revenge isn’t a new phenomenon. But it gets a lot of press these days.

Remember when your mom used to tell you, “Two wrongs don’t make a right?” She wasn’t wrong! That scale never levels out. The question still remains: who made you judge and jury?

Bad things happen in this life. There are bad people in the world. There are crimes that should be punished according to Scripture and the law of the land. But there is only one ultimate Judge. And you are not He!

God will judge every individual with righteousness according to His character. Some people will deserve His wrath and the punishment for their unrepented sins. Others, like me and I hope you, will face the judge wearing His own righteousness and hear Him declare that our sin debt is paid in full.

Life is too short to plan to get even with someone, or to even waste time hoping something bad happens to someone who you think has wronged you. It’s not your job to try to balance a scale that cannot be balanced. It’s not your job to dole out punishment to someone who has hurt you.

Honestly, I think the best way to handle the hurt you feel or the wrong that has been done against you, according to Scripture, is submit to God. Take a step back from the situation. Breathe. Pray. And trust God who does all things well. My experience is that when I turn it over to the Lord, I am free. A burden is lifted. Thoughts of revenge are replaced by peace. And whether or not that person gets what I think he or she deserves doesn’t matter any more.

Whew!

In fact, my prayers become, “Lord, Don’t give her what I think she deserves. I pray that Jesus will get what He deserves, and that is her heart.”

In the end, it’s not about what we think anyone deserves. It’s about what God deserves for dying on the cross for our sins… and the sins of the people we are struggling with. He will get what He deserves in the end. And that’s the way it should be.

There Is No Justification

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Judges 15

“They started it.”

How many times did I, as a middle school counselor, hear that excuse for bad behavior? Lots! Now here in Judges we read where Samson – who wasn’t an adolescent at the time, but a grown man – uses the same mistaken logic:

“I only did what they did to me.”

Dear one, retaliation is never acceptable. The score is never evened out. It just isn’t.

What did Jesus say about how we should treat people who aren’t necessarily fair to us?

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:44)

I think we are seeing the result of years of telling children they “shouldn’t” be bullied, or that they have a “right” to be treated fairly. There are way too many young adults on medication for depression these days. Turn on the news and see the number of incidents of violence cause by angry and vengeful people in our world.

Instead of giving them healthy coping skills, we’ve made them life-long victims. Instead of encouraging them to control their own behavior, we tell them they can control the behavior of others if they are just tougher than they are.

But the truth is, we live in a sinful world. And people will fail us. We will fail them. Bad things happen. And people aren’t always treated fairly.

Think of what happened recently when Will Smith “protected” his wife by slapping Chris Rock for saying something stupid. Smith didn’t protect his wife from bodily harm. He retaliated because she got her feelings hurt. It wasn’t self defense. It was assault.

Yet there are people who applaud Smith for his loyalty to his wife, saying Rock deserved it.

Really?

Love your enemies. Pray for those who do you wrong.

What happened at the Oscars is not an isolated incident. You see the same mindset every day in the form of gossip, slander, FaceBook jail, cancel culture, and on the highways with road rage. We see it every day in the news, in gang violence, nasty divorces, and on and on and on.

Would you say that makes for a happy and healthy world?

If we would just live according to the Law of God, we wouldn’t be talking about the likes of Will Smith. We wouldn’t worry that some kid will take a gun to school because people aren’t being nice to him. We wouldn’t read about eight year old kids losing their lives because they got caught in the middle of a drive by shooting.

There just isn’t any justification for any of it. My prayer is that if you, or I, find ourselves wanting to even out a score, to get back at someone for doing something we didn’t like, we will stop and pray. Then figure out a way to show God’s love to that person instead.

Don’t tell me you can’t do that because they don’t deserve it for hurting you. Tell that to God. He’s the one who told you to love and pray for them. And because He’s the one who instructed us to do it, I have to believe that is the best thing for you and the other person.

And probably the best thing for our world.

I Samuel 19; It Takes Two To Tango

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Saul had one goal in life, and it totally consumed him. He wanted David dead more than anything. David, on the other hand, had nothing against Saul. If David had his way, the two would be friends.

Throughout their story we will see Saul do many means things to David. But we won’t see David return evil for evil.

I would say that during the 23 years I was a middle school counselor, the majority of my time was spent dealing with adolescent friendships. More than anything academic, relationships were far and away the number one thing on the minds of those children. Most of the time a child’s instinct was to strike back at someone who they felt wronged them.

“She started it.”

“He hit me first.”

“She said something about my mom.”

“He was talking about me.

And somehow, in their minds those things seemed to justify their own bad behavior. I would often quote Romans 12:21 to them:

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Most of the time they’d look at me like I had grown antlers or something.

Jesus tells us to love our enemies, to pray for those who are mean to us. (Matt 5:44) Easier said than done, because I don’t think revenge is a concept exclusive to adolescents.

Have you heard the phrase, “It takes two to tango”? It takes two of you to have a battle. If one of you refuse to fight back, it isn’t a fight.

Saul heard that David was in Naioth. So the king sent some of his men to go get David. But when Saul’s men got there, they walked into a church service instead of a battle. They joined the church service.

So Saul sent another band of thugs to capture David. And when these men observed David and the people praising God, they praised God, too

This must have been quite the church service because Saul sent a third group of men to do the deed. The third group of men? They dropped their weapons and raised their hands in worship, too.

“Ok. Enough of this,” Saul must have thought. “If you want something done right, you do it yourself.” So with every intention of taking care of David himself, he marched into Naioth, probably spitting nails.

Something happened to Saul, though, when he saw the Spirit of God moving among the people. At least for the time being, he forgot his mission of evil, and began prophesying too, by the Holy Spirit.

Saul had expected to go to battle with David. David refused to go to battle with Saul. And at least for the moment, good did overcome evil, and David’s life was spared.

Matthew Henry said David was delivered, not as he’d delivered his lambs by killing lions, but by turning lions into lambs.

I like that idea.

Do you want to get rid of an enemy? Start by being nice to him or her. You might even turn them into a friend.  It’s not impossible.

It’s Scriptural.

 

Numbers 12; Without My Two Cents

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Moses’ own siblings, Aaron and Miriam, were talking about Moses behind his back. They complained about his wife, and were jealous of his following. And, like most gossip, their complaints got back to Moses.

How did he react? The Bible tells us “Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.” (12:3)

Sounds like Moses “turned the other cheek.” There is no record that he defended himself. Oh, say something against God and Moses would be in your face. Say something about Moses, and he’ll either ignore you, or go to God about it.

As it turned out, God handled it without Moses doing a thing.

It’s unrealistic to think, especially for those of you in positions of authority, that everyone is going to love and/or agree with you all the time. (Ask President Trump). But I’ve found that often, when I react to gossip, or try to defend myself, I can make matters worse.

That’s not to say that there aren’t times when God will prompt us to speak up against gossip or slander or threats of some kind. Then, I believe, He’ll give us the words to say to bring about a solution that brings glory to Himself. But unless I know He is nudging me toward action, I’d like to react like Matthew Henry says Moses reacted: He, as a deaf man, heard not.

I want to learn from Moses’ example. I want to learn when to just keep my mouth shut. I want to learn that if God thinks it’s necessary to defend me, He’s able to do that without my two cents.

Genesis 4 – The Mark Of Cain

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You probably already know Cain killed his brother Able out of jealousy. You might know God gave Cain a personal invitation to repent. Cain didn’t repent.

God cursed Cain and told him he was going to have a difficult life ahead of him. Cain’s response?

“Ok. I get it. I’m being driven out from Your Presence, God. I’ll be a restless wanderer for the rest of my life. But, God, people are going to be mean to me. That’s just not fair.” (Not an exact quote 😉 )

Oh, Cain. Couldn’t you find it in your heart to admit you sinned, and ask God to forgive you? You’re so worried about what other people think about you, or how they will treat you. What about what God thinks?

So God put a mark on Cain, identifying him as the killer of Able. But that mark wasn’t a bullseye. In fact, it was the opposite. It was a mark that said, “Leave him alone.” No one would avenge Able’s death by killing Cain with that mark staring them in the face.

Even then Cain didn’t humble himself before God. He went on his merry way, started a family, and built a city.

Now THAT’S not fair, you might think.

I believe the lesson here is: that’s none of your business. How God deals with others is not up to you. Wanting revenge, wishing a building would fall on a person, is a sin that will drive you out of God’s Presence, too.

If you are harboring ill-feelings toward someone who has done you wrong, picture the mark of Cain on their forehead. Leave them alone. Let God handle things the way He sees best. It might not happen the way you think it should. What goes around doesn’t always come around in God’s kingdom. (Thankfully) But God knows what He’s doing.

Cain had ample opportunity to repent, to confess his sin and ask God to forgive him. He never did as far as we know. He may have spent the rest of his life restless and guilt ridden, depressed or angry. And if he never repented, his eternity is much worse.

Don’t make the same mistake. The Bible tells us to pray for those who misuse us, to love our enemies. Let God be God. You take care of that plank in your own eye. And trust God to do all things well.

May 19 – It Works!

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2 Samuel 19-21

So the other day we read where Shimei threw stones and shouted insults to King David. Do you remember how David reacted? He didn’t. He ignored Shimei, and kept walking.

Today we read the rest of the story. Beginning in 19:16 we see Shimei running to meet the king. Absalom is dead. David is the victor. 1,000 men including Shimei met David and his warriors at the Jordan River and helped them cross.

Shimei fell at David’s feet, and begged for forgiveness. David’s men thought Shimei should be put to death for having treated David so badly earlier. David told them to back off. Shimei would not die.

That, my friend, is a picture of grace. It’s a picture of me and Jesus. I was as guilty as Shimei. But Jesus forgave me when I asked Him to. He gave me life instead of death, like David gave to Shimei.

It’s also a picture of what can happen when God’s people keep the course. When we refuse to repay evil with evil. When we love our enemies and pray for those who mistreat us.

By our example, may people be drawn to their Savior.

April 21 – After God’s Own Heart

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2 Samuel 1-4

I think I see what Scripture means when it says David was a man after God’s own heart. In these chapters we see that David mourned the death of Saul. Yes, Saul. Saul who had spent years trying to kill David. That Saul. Yet David never thought, “Well good. It’s about time he got what he deserved. Karma, baby.”

In fact, David went so far as to say, in the song he wrote for Saul, “Saul and Jonathan, beloved and pleasant in their life…” Beloved? Pleasant? Saul? That’s what David sang.

David’s example as a man after God’s own heart, helps me understand that God does not take joy in the death of any of the people who reject Him. Jesus died for them. He took their sins upon Himself on the cross. The vilest offender, the most depraved, the most hateful terrorist is a soul whose salvation is bought and paid for by the precious blood of Jesus. It’s their’s for the taking up to the last breath they breathe. And somehow, I believe God mourns the death of anyone who dies without accepting Him, even more than David mourned Saul’s death.

So, dear one. If you have a secret desire that someone who’s wronged you will get what you think they deserve, stop it! That attitude cannot please God.

If we who are His children want to be people after God’s own heart (and I hope that is the desire of us all) we need to confess that desire for bad things to happen to someone, as sin. We need to pray for the person we hold a grudge against.

And we must never rejoice in the suffering of anyone, including our “enemy.”

If David can do it, so can I with the help of my Savior who loves that person to death.

April 4 -Revenge

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Judges 13-15

Samson is an interesting character. From the moment he was conceived his mother didn’t drink alcohol. His parents raised him to be set apart for God’s work. Samson acted differently, and looked different from everybody else.

God used Samson in amazing ways. He killed a lion with his bare hands, a thousand men with the jawbone of a donkey. Yet he had terrible taste in women, seemed to have no common sense, and made revenge a driving force in his life.

When the men of Judah came to him and asked him why on earth he would burn the Philistine crops, Samson answered like a two year old. “They started it.”

Is revenge a right? When someone wrongs you, are you entitled to payback? Doesn’t the Bible say something about an eye for an eye?

I used to tell kids in my school that revenge is like a game of tennis. Someone serves the ball into your court by being mean to you, so you hit the ball back to them by doing something back at them. Does the game of tennis stop after both players hit the ball just once?

Well, it might when I’m playing. But that’s not the point.

When the ball is hit into the player’s court, he or she does everything possible to hit it back into the opponent’s court. The game stops only when someone quits hitting the ball.

Does getting revenge ever solve the problem? Does it ever even the score? Or does it make the problem grow? Read these chapters in Judges and see how living for revenge worked for Samson.

What does Jesus say? Love your enemies. Do good to those who harm you. Paul tells us to overcome evil with good.

I wonder how Samson’s story would have ended if he had learned that lesson.

I wonder how your story will end.