Tag Archives: depression

August 17 – Don’t “Should”

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Jeremiah 30-31

There is a former student of mine, the mother of four, a young woman who loves her husband and who is loved by him, yet who battles depression and the all-too-often desire to stop living. She’s not a Christian. She reads self-help books, listens to Oprah, and tries to follow the advice of friends who tell her she shouldn’t feel that way, that she should be thankful, that she should tap into her own strength and pull herself up.

But I think all those “should’s” just make it worse.

I thought about her today as I read these chapters. God is telling the Jews that they have a serious injury, an incurable wound.

There is no one to plead your cause; no healing for your sore, no recovery for you. (30:13)

God even goes a step further and tells them to  quit crying about it. Felling sorry for yourself doesn’t change a thing.

Wow, God. Thanks for the encouragement. I feel so much better now.

Read on. God gives more than just a sympathetic pat on the back.

For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds, declares the Lord. (vs 17)

The truth is we all have reason to loathe ourselves. We’ve all done things to be ashamed of, to be sorry for. But trying to fix things by our own efforts is a bit like putting a bandaid on that incurable wound. We may feel better for a time. But when we fall (and we always fall) that wound bleeds a bit more. We feel worse than before, more useless, more of a failure than before.

God wants us to know that we don’t have to manufacture a feeling of healing. HE IS THE HEALER. We don’t have to pull ourselves out of the pit. He died, went into that pit Himself, so we wouldn’t have to live there. He rose again so that we could be born again ourselves, be free from the power of sin, and know the joy that comes from having our sins forgiven.

I think the only “should” we should listen to is the one that tells us we should go to the Father, repent of our sins, and let Him heal us. There is a sense of relief in that “should.”

July 25 – The Plumb Line of Emptiness

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Isaiah 31-34

God, through Isaiah, is describing the devastation the result of His wrath will bring. Mountains drenched with blood, the sky rolled up like a scroll, streams turned to pitch, a fire that can’t be quenched, complete desolation where the land is inhabited only by pelican, hedgehog, owl, and raven.

I picture a ghost town in a B movie western complete with rambling tumble weeds.

Then God says He will “stretch over it the line of desolation and the plumb line of emptiness.” (34:11)

Has that ever described you? Have you ever felt that life has abandoned you, that you have a longing that burns and can’t be quenched, you feel alone, and lost, and empty?

Dear one, that is not where God wants you to live. Jesus died so that, when you repent of your sin, He can fill you to overflowing with Himself! His love. His grace and mercy. His goodness and joy. When you allow God to fill you, you will have hope for the future, and strength for the day.

The plumb line of emptiness, true emptiness, is the life without God. That void in your life was placed there by God to be filled by God alone. Oh, you can try to fill it yourself. Drugs, alcohol, unhealthy relationships, other gods, self, career, family, busy-ness. But all are substitutes for the real thing – the plumb line of fullness which is God Himself.

That is the point from which your life is blessed by God. You don’t have to live in that black and white movie ghost town with rotting floorboards and banging saloon doors, in a place inhabited by rodents and scavengers.

Let God fill your emptiness like only He can. He’ll turn your mourning into joy, and your tears into gladness. He’ll turn your loneliness into fellowship, and your despair into hope.

You Aren’t God

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The Bible talks a lot about how we should consider our “selves”. I know modern psychology, and Oprah, and Joel Osteen, and the like say we need to feel powerful, and able, and special, fulfilled, and important. But I see the Bible telling us something quite different. I see Scripture saying we are helpless, sinful, depraved, that we need someone outside ourselves to save us from drowning.

Modern psychology does not work. We are a people drowning in a sea of “self”. People who are angry, depressed, anxious, violent, and who keep looking within themselves for answers because that’s the popular notion are looking in the wrong direction. How many people are medicated today because of psychological problems from eating disorders, to sexual confusion, anxiety to clinical depression? Even children are given pills for psychological problems.

Our children are taught that they are the most important entity in their own lives. So, when a police officer tells a young person to stop, to put their hands in the air, or to drop a gun, we end up reading about a shooting because the young person feels he is above the law. We hear about unspeakable crimes against children, against women, against the elderly because someone has considered their own desires more important than anything else. Abortion? Don’t get me started.

I was reading in Isaiah this morning and was impressed by God’s take on the whole thing. Chapter 45:9-10 tells us what is created has no business questioning the Creator. 47:10-11 says when we say, “I am, and there is no one else besides me,” evil will come upon us.  Proverbs 26:12 says a man who is wise in his own eyes has less hope than a fool.

These verses are only a few throughout the Bible that warn us about the foolishness of focusing on ourselves. Isaiah 48 spoke to me about who God really is. He is the Creator. He alone is God. And everything he does points to the fact of his absolute superiority.

Isaiah 46:5 asks a redundant question. Do I really want to put myself up next to God to establish equality? Do I really?

This just occurred to me as I was thinking about this subject. When a counselor or a pastor tells us to change our thinking about ourselves by telling ourselves how wonderful we are, we end up repeating things like:

I am powerful.

I am capable.

I am good.

I am worthy.

And in doing so, we replace the Great I AM with a counterfeit. Satan wins. We lose.

May you see yourself through God’s eyes today. You are someone who is lost, who is vile, who is powerless, and someone Jesus felt was worth dying for. Let him transform you into someone truly powerful and capable and good and worthy when he pours Himself into you, when HE gives you everything you need to face this day and its challenges.

There is nothing you can do for yourself that he can’t do so much better. After all, he’s God. And you’re not.

Hey! Don’t Take My Coat!

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I had a slow drain in the tub of a mobile home I lived in for a while.  No matter what I tried, it would clog up regularly. So I started a new routine. Every Saturday morning I’d pour baking soda into that drain, then dump a cup of vinegar on it and watch it go to work. It fizzed, and popped, and bubbled while the chemicals reacted to one another. Then, I would pour some boiling water into the drain and listen for it to flow freely.

Solomon tells us, in Proverbs 25:20 that singing a happy song to someone who is sad is like pouring vinegar over baking soda. The reaction is anything but soothing. Telling someone to “cheer up” or to “get over it” doesn’t help a person who is mourning or depressed. In fact, it can cause more grief. It would be like doing your happy dance at a funeral.

Sometimes people need to be sad. And if I am overtly expressing my happiness without considering their feelings, I’m just being mean. Solomon says it’s like taking the coat away from someone standing in the middle of a snowstorm.

As a middle school counselor I learned that sometimes I needed to allow the person sitting in front of me to feel the feelings. Sadness. Anger. Confusion. I had to admit that I didn’t have all the answers, that any tidbit of advice I might throw out there could make matters worse. I learned to ask, even of eleven-year-olds, what it is they thought they needed. Did they want to talk about it? Or did they just want to sit next to me and cry? There would, undoubtedly, come a time when I would direct that person to finding solutions. But sometimes that didn’t happen for quite some time. They needed to feel the feelings first.

Life is hard. Everyone goes through difficult times. Grief is personal. Depression can be a disease. You wouldn’t tell someone to just “get over” cancer, would you?

God is telling me today to choose my words, my attitude toward the people in my life who are facing hardships. Sometimes well intended words are just mean, like exposing someone to freezing weather, or pouring vinegar over baking soda. I want to be sensitive to what it is they are going through at the moment, set myself aside, and allow them to grieve, or rant, or question.

Lord, forgive me when I’m so taken with good things in my life that I walk over someone who is hurting. I don’t do it intentionally. I don’t want to make anyone feel worse than they already feel. Help me to notice the hurt in someone’s eyes or in the sound of their voice. Give me the words to say that will soothe and encourage. Or help me to keep my mouth shut and just be present. More than anything, Lord, I pray that they will be drawn to you as a result of my caring about their feelings.

Oh Give Thanks

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Psalm 107 begins with these words:

Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! For his mercy endures forever.

I am reminded that we have every reason to give thanks. God is good. And the mercy he has shown us is eternal. But it seems that the author of this psalm realized that thankfulness isn’t necessarily one of our strong points. Several times these words are repeated:

Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

I’ve been in a funk lately. I find myself sitting alone in my home, watching TV or reading, and sighing a lot. I haven’t been motivated to walk even though the weather in my part of the world is nearly perfect this time of year. I read my Bible every day, and continue to write in my journal. I just haven’t felt led to post anything for several weeks. It seems God has been silent. Can that be? Does he have nothing of value to say to me through his Word?

Then I read Psalm 107 and recognize the problem is in me. I’ve neglected thankfulness. God has rescued me time after time, he has seen me through hard times, he’s revealed himself through victories. Every day there is evidence of his love and his presence. But I think I’m taking him for granted. I’m too busy feeling sorry for me.

So it’s time for an attitude check. I stopped this morning to consider how blessed I am, and the words of an old hymn came to mind. The lyrics are old school, but powerful:

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made;
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

I don’t know what life is like for you right now. But if you know Jesus as your Savior, you are blessed beyond what could be recorded in the skies. I would encourage you (and me) to take our eyes off situations, other people, the challenges of life, and consider God. He is personal. He is present. And he wants you to know how much he loves you. Isn’t that reason enough to be thankful?

Here’s how my Father nudged me to read this psalm today:

Oh that Connie (you can insert your name if you are led) would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to her personally, lovingly, intimately.

May my life be lived out of a thankful heart to God, through whom all blessings flow.

Joy

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I am a sinner. And if I read Scripture correctly, so are you. Romans 8:28 says ALL have sinned so I’m pretty sure that includes us both.

Sometimes the guilt that comes from sinning is overwhelming. David, in Psalm 32:3 says: When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away and I groaned all day long.

Have you experienced that intense grief over what you’ve done? The sad thing is that some people get used to living in that state. Conviction turns to grief which leads to depression which convinces that person they deserve to be miserable. And they get so used to feeling miserable they are a bit afraid to try joy.

Someone once said, I’ve been down so long it looks like up to me.

What a tragic place to live.

Here’s what David says in verse 5 of Psalm 32:

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord”.  And you forgave me!  ALL MY GUILT IS GONE!!!

David goes on to say that God is his hiding place, his protection from trouble, his song of victory. David reminds us God promises to guide us and watch over us. Unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord! Then David tells us to rejoice! Be glad, all who obey God.

We have reason to live in joy. My heart breaks for those who choose to live in great sadness because of a sin they refuse to confess, to let go. Understand that Jesus is waiting with open arms to take you in. He’s already died for that sin. He is just asking you to accept his forgiveness.

I pray that today will be the last day you live with the guilt of unconfessed sin. Let God wash you clean of whatever it is. Repent. Then you can say with David, All my guilt is gone! 

Father, I pray for people who are overwhelmed with guilt. I pray that guilt will drive them right into your waiting arms. I pray that they will confess, repent, turn from that sin and know the release that comes from being washed in your blood, wearing your righteousness, forgiven. I pray for those who have lived with that guilt for years, maybe decades. I pray that today they will come to you and know the joy that comes from giving it all to you. Thank you for what you are going to do in hearts and lives today.

 

December 2

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2 Corinthians 7:1-11:15

Paul talks about “godly sorrow”. What is that? And how does it differ from worldly sorrow? One leads to repentance. One leads to death.

Paul was apologizing for a letter he had written to the Christians in Achaia, the church in Corinth. You know Paul. He tells it like it is. And he must have stepped on some toes with his bluntness. Paul says: Sorry if your feelings were hurt by hearing the truth, but something good came of it. You repented!

7:10 says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death”. Godly sorrow produces earnestness, indignation, longing, concern, devotion and encouragement. And all of those are things outside of oneself. That is as it should be when we are faced with our sin. Godly sorrow for sin causes us to bow before our Holy God, to open our hearts and minds to the Savior. Godly sorrow looks up after looking in.

On the other hand, worldly sorrow stays turned inward. It produces depression, anger, despair. The person who is sucked into worldly sorrow is often more concerned with how he is feeling than who he is in Christ. Too often worldly sorrow leads to tragic death.

Now hear me when I say I am not talking about those who have a chemical imbalance. Please PLEASE do not go off your medication. Allow the medicine to do its job. But I would say to all of us, we need to consider sin and respond to it with godly sorrow that leads to repentance. In this case we need to go to the doctor for our physical problems. And to God with our sin.

Have you sinned? I think Paul would tell you to quit beating yourself up about it. Rather look toward your Heavenly Father and see his love, accept his forgiveness, repent and, like we talked about yesterday, begin again with a clean slate.

Father, I pray that when any of us are faced with the reality of sin in our lives it will cause us sorrow. May we quickly confess our sin and accept your forgiveness. May we keep our eyes on Jesus, to look for ways to live out our faith, to win lost souls to you. May we demonstrate your truth that godly sorrow that leads to repentance produces people who are anxious to get out there and lead others to the Savior, too. I pray for any reading this today who are caught in the ugly web of worldly sorrow. May they recognize that as sin, confess it, and look to you for all they need for life – including the joy of being your child.

November 30

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I Corinthians 15:35-16:24; Acts 20:1-6; 2 Corinthians 1:1-2:4

So often when people go through hard times some well-meaning person says, “God never gives us more than we can handle”. I don’t believe that is a true statement. And I believe Paul will back me up on that.

Read 2 Corinthians 1:8-11. Paul felt the sentence of death. He was so depressed he despaired even of life. “But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead”. 

I believe God “gives us” just a little more than we can handle on our own so that we learn to trust him and depend on him. Paul continues to say with confidence, “(God) has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us”.

Are you going through a difficulty? Is your heart broken? Do you despair of life? Have you done everything you know how to fix it? Good. Now you can learn how much you can depend on God. You are in a position where you can realize how faithful, how strong, how compassionate is your Savior.

I believe Scripture promises when you turn it over to God, when you seek his face, he will lift you up. There is a line to a song that says, “When you come to the place where he’s all you have, you’ll find he’s all you need”.

Amen.

Dear God, I pray that we who are going through circumstances that seem to be breaking us, will seek your face. May we set aside the problem and draw close to you. May our relationship with you become more important than a solution to the problem. We are weak. We are helpless. We are broken. Lord, lift us up. In Jesus’ name.

April 23

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Psalms 31,56,40, I Samuel 27:1-12,28:1-2,29:1-11, I Chronicles12:1-7

David lied. While given safety in the land of the Philistines he attacked their towns, then lied to Achish – the very one who had granted him safety. I’m troubled by that so I went to Matthew Henry whose commentary I trust.

Henry points out that at the beginning of I Samuel 27 David is in a bad mood. Mr. Henry calls it melancholy. And from this dark place David allows himself to drown in self-pity.

Saul’s gonna kill me, he says. I might as well go live with the enemy.

David lives with the Philistines for more than a year. During that time he lies to Achish, then volunteers to fight against Israel as part of Achish’s force. Just one bad choice after another.

We all get in bad moods once in a while. We all experience times of depression. It’s at those low moments when Satan jumps in with both feet. And it’s at those times when we are the most vulnerable. 

I am reminded that even as Christians we are not promised smooth sailing. Bad things happen. Emotions are a roller coaster at best. There are times when it’s hard to find the joy.

But God is telling me today to hold on. Not to myself. Not even to a doctrine. But hold on to him. Trust him when I don’t see any way out. Praise him when my heart is breaking. Recognize that he is able to see me through and underneath are the everlasting arms. 

And I am reminded that I probably shouldn’t make major decisions when I am feeling low. David made some pretty bad choices when he was depressed. What’s to say I won’t do the same.

Getting through those low moments may be a matter of saying God, I’m hurting. I don’t know what to do and don’t have the energy to try. Lift me up because I am drowning. Thank you for loving me, staying with me, and wanting what is best for me. 

If we don’t give our down times to him, don’t be surprised if we sink deeper. That’s where Satan wants us to live. My prayer is that we won’t let our enemy get what he wants.

Lord, I pray for hurting people. I pray that each one will look to you and trust you with today. I pray for victory over Satan’s attempt to destroy what we have with you. I pray for a measure of joy for all of us no matter what we are facing. Thank you for your promise to never leave or forsake us. Make yourself known to us. We are counting on you today.