Tag Archives: hardships

A Victim Mentality

Leave a reply

Genesis 41:46-57

Joseph was a victim. If anyone had reason to pity himself it was Joseph. He had been hurt by his brothers, lied about, treated unfairly These are facts, not just his perception. Joseph was a victim of difficult circumstances.

Yet, we don’t see him expressing a victim mentality. I don’t think he would identify himself as a victim because of what we read in these verses. Joseph went about serving God no matter what the circumstances. He was kind, respectful, hard working, and humble as he did the work God placed in front of him. He didn’t have time for a pity party.

Does it seem everyone is a “victim” these days? There are well-meaning therapists that tell us that is ok. Instead of giving the “victim” the tools to change, they tell him or her how to get everyone else to change toward them. What is passed off as empathy is actually toxic empathy because it just makes the problem worse than it needs to be.

The fact is, we live in a fallen world. Bad things happen. Imperfect people do and say imperfect things. You can’t control them no matter how many fits you throw. You can only control how you receive their imperfections.

A Christian does or says something hurtful so the conclusion is all Christians are bad, and the answer is to leave the church.

People destroy cars because someone’s political view is offensive to them.

You can be taken to court if you hurt their feeling by “misgendering” them or not using their preferred pronouns.

Scroll through social media and see the tantrums people throw while sitting in their car with the cellphone pointed at their faces. It’s ridiculous.

These are extreme examples of a victim mentality, but that mentality is seen in our every day walk of life, too. Someone is always moaning about something. I bet you can name a few in your circle of friends who are living a victim mentality.

Like I said, we live in a fallen world among imperfect people. If you rub shoulders with others, you will be offended, get your feelings hurt, disagree, and/or be angry with someone along the way. You can’t avoid it. In fact, I think you should expect it and prepare for it.

But the Bible lays out instructions for how to handle the offense. First, go to that person privately and try to work it out. Now listen, you don’t go to them and demand they apologize. You go to them to tell them what you see as the problem AND TO LISTEN to what they are seeing and feeling. Your problem might end right there with either they taking responsibility and apologizing, or you realizing you are the problem and apologizing to them. Maybe you’ll find out there really is no problem at all. Wouldn’t that be great?

But not all conflicts are solved that easily. So the Bible says the next step is to go back to the person and bring a friend. Again, the purpose is to tell and listen, to attempt to come to a compromise and reconcile. Your friend is there to keep you both focused and accountable for your words.

If that doesn’t work, involve the church. Ask mature Christians in leadership who can mediate your conflict using Scripture.

At any point in the process you and the person you are having issues with might humble yourselves and resolve the conflict. But if that’s not possible because you or the other person refuse to budge, separation is called for.

It’s a process that takes work, intentionality, humility, and a willingness to listen and to be accountable for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. And it takes a willingness to compromise. Sadly, most of us are too stubborn or too lazy to make it happen.

We’d rather play the victim card and believe life is unfair, people are cruel, and I deserve better. So we make everyone pay.

We ought to learn from Joseph how to handle injustices inflicted upon us. We can either focus on the hurt, or focus on the Lord. We can let the hurt paralyze us, or we can get busy being obedient, not letting resentment take hold.

We can stay a victim. Or not. We are going to find out, in the next few chapters in Genesis, that Joseph did not stay a victim. And the outcome will be a touching reconciliation between him and the very ones who once victimized him.

It’s an outcome I pray for all of us who have been hurt.

When the Question is, “Why?”

Leave a reply

Ezekiel 25-29

When God told the prophet about the impending doom for the nations, He not only told them what would happen, who would conquer them, and exactly the sin He was punishing them for, God was very clear about why they were being punished:

“Then they will know that I am the Lord their God.”

Often when people go through hardships one of the first things they ask is, “Why?” “Why me?” “Why now?” “Why this?” The answer is the same as it was in Ezekiel’s day:

Then you will know that I am the Lord your God.

Oh, you may be experiencing discipline over a sin you’ve yet to repent of. Or you might be suffering because of a choice you have made; maybe a choice someone else has made. But in it all, God wants you to see Him.

God longs for you to come to Him. He died so you can be saved. Your suffering doesn’t go unnoticed by an absent God. He is there in the midst of it, revealing Himself, drawing you to His saving grace.

So the next time you are tempted to ask, “Why?” open your Bible. See God. Hear Him say exactly what you need to hear through the words He inspired to be written to you. Then submit to God with all your heart. Your situation might not change. But you will discover that all things will work for your good if you love Him, and are answering His call.

Listen

Leave a reply

Exodus 4-7

The thing that stood out to me today is that the Israelites did not listen to what God was telling them through Moses because of their circumstances and emotions (6:9). They were discouraged because they were being treated unfairly.

Understandable because Pharaoh really wasn’t being fair. They really were being mistreated and most likely couldn’t see a way out.

But instead of going to God, trusting God, they cut Him off. Instead of being open to hearing His voice, they stopped listening.

Boy, can I relate. I haven’t gone through a fraction of what these Israelites did in Egypt. Yet when faced with my own hardships I’ve been known to give God the cold shoulder. My prayers are fewer. My expressions of love more guarded. My time in His Word is met with silence.

And when I stop listening, I fall deeper and deeper into self-pity and even despair. It’s at those times I’m discouraged, and can’t see a way out.

God, help me – help all of us – to keep the lines of communication open between us and You. I don’t even want to think about all we miss when we allow our circumstances to drown out Your voice. Help us to trust You, and submit ourselves and our circumstances into Your capable hands. Speaking for myself, I don’t want to miss anything You want to say to me.

Exactly What You Need

Leave a reply

Job 11-14

Who can blame Job for having a pity party? The man had been handed an incredibly hard pill to swallow. He was sad. He was sick. He had questions. But here’s what I think we can learn from Job’s example: the longer the pity party is allowed to continue, the deeper into despair you go.

Job thought about the unfairness of it all, his personal loss, the fact that he was totally alone in this consumed him. Now, in just a few chapters we will see he realizes the harm in that. But right now, the man is about as low as a man can be.

Some of you may be going through Job-like circumstances. No one is telling you not to be sad. Jesus wept when Lazarus died. No one is telling you not to question. Jesus, on the cross, asked, “Why?” However, we as Christians don’t have to stay in the sad or uncertainty.

We, like Paul, can learn to be content in whatever circumstances we find ourselves because we can trust God who does all things well, who works things out for the good for those of us who love Him.

Whatever it is that is bringing you down, the state of the world, the state of the Church, your home, your physical body, whatever it is, you can confidently surrender it to God. When you do HIs peace, peace the world cannot understand, will guard your hearts and minds now in your present circumstances and right into eternity.

When Christians are the worry-warts, the Debbie Downers, the frightened and paranoid, Satan wins! What kind of witness can you be if the only thing you’re focused on is you? How can you share God’s grace when you only talk about how bad things are? How can you express the joy of the Lord when you ignore the joy-giving Presence of God?

No matter what you are going through, God is still telling you to go and make disciples. No matter how tough life is for you, God is still telling you to be a light.

Do you remember Paul and Silas? They, bruised and bleeding and chained to prison walls, sang praises to God at midnight. And what happened? The foundation of the prison crumbled, their chains fell off, and they were free!

When we choose to fix our eyes on Jesus, God can shake the prison walls of our circumstances, break the chains that bind us to depression and anxiety or self-pity, and set us free.

Is it midnight, so to speak? Are you in the middle of hardship and loss? Have your pity party if you must. But please don’t stay there. Take your eyes off the prison walls and chains, and look into the eyes of Jesus, your advocate, your strength, a present help in times of trouble, your Savior who loves you!

He’s there. He’s listening. And He is exactly what you need.

Everything We Need

Leave a reply

Psalm 34

Sounds like another health and wealth gospel. But don’t let that fool you.

In reality, there are Christians who are sick and starving, homeless and without means to provide for their families. So how can we make sense of verses 9-10 which clearly say if we fear God, we’ll have all we need. If we trust God, we will lack no good thing.

Tell that to the Christian living on the streets with a cancer diagnosis.

But why is it people who truly fear, worship, stand in awe of God, and people who trust God and submit to Him are some of the most joyful, most contented people around? It’s because God is true to His Word.

God does give us everything we need. The Apostle Paul expressed that beautifully in Philippians 4:11-13, and again in 2 Corinthians 12:9. I hope you’ll take time to read those verses and hear what someone who had a tough life says about what God gives.

Matthew Henry, on page 610 of his Bible Commentary published by Marshall, Morgan & Scott in 1960, that if we look at this psalm as merely promising physical comfort we miss the most important thing. God not only works FOR us, He works THROUGH us. To me that means God is right there with the Christian, leading, directing, comforting, strengthening, and revealing Himself in marvelous ways.

The psalmist encourages us to “taste and see that the Lord is good,” and there is joy when we attach ourselves to Him in all circumstances. God is a personal God, intimate, present.

Romans 8:28 tells us that God works things out for our good if we love Him. 2 Corinthians 4:17 reminds us that our troubles today are leading toward an eternal glory that far outweighs any hardship we face in this lifetime.

So yes, God does give us all we need, and we lack no good thing when we taste and see that He is good!

It’s Not Forever

Leave a reply

Job 42

I wonder how long Job suffered. From the moment he received the terrible news of his losses, to the moment he repented after hearing God speak, was it weeks? Months? Years? I don’t know. And I don’t pretend to know the degree of pain he endured during that time, however long.

But God pointed out something to me today I think some of us need to hear:

Job’s trial didn’t last forever.

Scripture tells us he lived 140 years after the events we read about in the book of Job. The reality is, as awful as it was, Job’s problems were a blip in the span of his lifetime. After God brought him through that period, he enjoyed life for another 140 years.

Are you going through something you feel might break you? You see no way out? No silver lining? If you know Jesus as your Savior, let God assure you this is a “light and momentary affliction.” Do you know who said that? It was the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:17. If you know anything about Paul, I don’t think you’d define what he went through as light, or even momentary. The man suffered for the name of Jesus, nearly all of his adult life.

Whatever it is you are facing, God is able to see you through, even if you can’t see how. I’m not minimizing the pain you are feeling. Some of you are going through hard, hard situations right now. And some of you who went through hard times in the past, still carry the burden of loss. I know.

But I think God would have you know there is hope. Do you believe that? Do you trust Him?

Yesterday in Sunday School we talked about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. I’m not going to tell you their story, but if you don’t know let me encourage you to read Daniel 3. It’s worth your time!

As the boys faced the fiery furnace, they declared their total trust in God by telling the king three things:

  1. God can rescue us
  2. We believe He will rescue us
  3. We trust Him alone with however He chooses to do that.

God doesn’t promise to keep us out of difficult situations. In fact, He tells us to expect them. What He does promise to His children is His Presence every step of the way. The king could see God’s Presence with the boys IN the fire!

And what I learn from these boys and Job is that if God brings us through our trial and gives us 140 more years to enjoy life on planet Earth, we win. If He chooses us to take us home to be with Him, we win.

Your difficulty right now will not last forever. I don’t know how God will end it, or when, but if you are His through the blood of Jesus, if you trust Him, He’s got this. Do you believe that?

I am praying that you will rest in the confidence that no matter how difficult life is right now, God is with you, God loves you, and there is a blessed solution to the problem.

It’s not going to last forever.

(Ezekiel 29-32) I AM The LORD

Leave a reply

Egypt was never identified with God. They worshiped idols. They were the enemy of God. Yet the Israelites went to Egypt for help instead of going to God. Big mistake.

But here’s what spoke to me today: God repeatedly sent word to Egypt, warning them what the consequences of rejecting Him would look like. Why? Why would God continue to warn His enemies about the devastation that was ahead for them?

“Then they will know that I am the Lord.” (28:23,24,26, 29:6,9,16,21, 30:8,19,25…)

I am reminded that God doesn’t want anyone to die without Him, that whosoever believes on Him will have eternal life, that anyone who believes on the name of Jesus will be saved.

It reminds me how God continually works in the lives of every man, woman, and child to bring them to the realization that He is the Lord. He is the way, the truth, and the life and no one goes to God except through Jesus.

It reminds me that instead of praying God would take away the “plague” of COVID, I should pray that this virus will show the world that He is Lord. Simply praying that God will somehow say the word and the virus would disappear, might be praying against His will that we who have turned our backs on Him will humble ourselves, turn from our sin, so that He can heal our land.

Whether it is a virus, or war, or hurricanes and earthquakes, alcoholism, or cancer, or divided families and churches… whatever the consequences of sin might look like… may it do what God intends it to do.

May we hear Him say in the midst of it all:

“I AM the LORD.“

(Psalms 54-56) Faith

Leave a reply

David knew about hardship. He knew danger and disappointment, betrayal and fear. But as he poured his heart out to God, even as he asked that his enemies be stopped by any means possible, David always declared his unwavering trust in God.

God: David’s refuge, strength, rescuer, helper, savior. Even in his darkest hours, David depended on the Light of life. When you read his psalms you can’t miss David’s faith in our Sovereign God.

I don’t know what you are experiencing in life right now. You may be living your darkest hours. I hope you’ll read these psalms and recognize that where David’s enemies were flesh and blood, yours are spiritual. But the same is true for your enemies as they were for David’s. They are not stronger than God!

May God annihilate Satan and his attempts at bringing you down. May you surrender yourself today to God, trust Him, place your faith in Him, and know that you can “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” (55:22a)

I’m praying for you today.

(Genesis 3-5) Because I Love You

Leave a reply

I never considered God’s judgment on Adam and Eve an act of love before. Had He allowed them to continue to live in the Garden, and had they eaten from the Tree of Life, they would have been forced to live forever in their sin, struggling in this sinful world century after century, millennium after millennium. They would have had no hope of heaven, because they would not have died.

Yes, they were doomed to a difficult existence during life on earth. They were to experience sickness, loss, heartache, enemies, and death. Sin does that to a person.

But God, even as He sent them away, promised the Savior. God did not leave them without hope.

The writer of Hebrews, and Psalm 3:12 tell us:

the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

God always punishes sin because He loves us. He wants us to turn from sin so that we can enjoy a relationship with Him in this life, and forever. We can’t do that if we hold on to sin. He is holy. Holiness and sin do not exist together. God wants us to exist together.

God didn’t wash His hands of Adam and Eve when they sinned. When He threw them out of the Garden, He didn’t turn off the sun, or destroy creation to teach them a lesson They still enjoyed sunsets, smelled the flowers, tasted the food. God didn’t stop blessing them. I’m sure they laughed again, were excited about the births of their children, enjoyed a romantic get-away to the mountains occasionally. (Well, I’m not sure of that last one, really. I’m a bit of a romantic.)

I think they even enjoyed a relationship with God eventually, although much different than the one they knew before sin separated them. God still was involved in their lives as seen in His conversation with Cain, giving Cain a chance to repent. (4:6-7)

I’ve gone through times of discipline because of sin in my life. Our world experiences the judgment of God because of sin. And often our natural response is to ask, “Why?”

“Why is life so hard?” “What did I do to deserve this illness, or this loss, or this hardship?”

“WHY ME?”

And I hear God answer:

Because I love you.

The Same Boat (Ecclesiastes 7-12)

Leave a reply

Solomon was so wrong about so many things. He was looking through the eyes of a natural man, out of the framework of sin, of self, of trying to outthink, outsmart, and out maneuver God. As wise as he was, Solomon wasn’t God. He would never be God.

Solomon seems to believe we are all in the same boat. We live. We die. We succeed. We fail. Life is good. Life is hard. But Solomon misses the boat, so to speak.

I recently heard someone say, “We are all in the same storm. But we are NOT all in the same boat.”

Some people are weathering the storm of life in cardboard canoes, paddling against the waves with plastic straws. Some are trying to fashion their own lifeboats by grabbing at driftwood while trying to stay afloat in the torrent.

But some of us are resting in a sturdy, sea-worthy, ocean vessel called, Salvation. Some of us are enjoying peace in the midst of the storm of life while in the presence of the Prince of Peace. Some of us will come out of this storm more alive than ever when we finally step on the shores of heaven.

Yes, there is a storm raging that effects us all, Solomon. But we are not all in the same boat. Not even close.