Tag Archives: grief

July 10

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Psalms 75, 76, 77, 80

Have you ever had a bad day? I mean a really, really bad day – or week – or year when nothing goes right, when your heart is broken, when you lose hope?

The writer of the 77th Psalm was in distress. His soul refused to be comforted. He cried out to God in anguish. He groaned. He was too troubled to speak.

But he didn’t allow himself to stay there. Look at 77:5:

“I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; I remembered my songs in the night.”

Then in 11&12 he says:

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.”

Then he goes on to do just that.

Satan would have us live defeated. Let’s not give him even one minute. I think the psalmist had the right idea. Instead of dwelling on all the reasons you have to be distressed, try thinking about all the ways you are blessed. Starting with Jesus’ work on the cross on your behalf. Consider the ways you have seen God work in your life instead of continuing to agonize over whatever is troubling you.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to hurt when bad things happen. Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died. I’m just suggesting with the psalmist that counting your blessings goes a long way to defeating Satan’s attempt to steal your joy.

Father in Heaven, some of us are hurting. Some of us have reason to be distressed and downhearted. We give you our grief, our fears, our anguish. Help us to praise you, to remember how blessed we are in spite of what is troubling us. Help us not to dwell on the problems we face, but to look upon you our Savior, our Healer, our Shepherd, our King, our Friend, Almighty God who has the power to help us through the darkest days and who promises to go with us every step of the way. May we who go to you with broken hearts, know the strength that comes from you and the joy that comes from praising you.

June 24

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2 Kings 14:7-14, 5:1-7:2; 2 Chronicles 25:11-24

God continues to perform miracles through Elisha. Naaman is healed of leprosy, an axe head floats, a famine ends. But miracles don’t always happen, do they? What do you do when prayers aren’t answered like you believe they should?

My life change drastically one year ago today. A sunny Sunday afternoon turned into the darkest day of my life in an instant. My twenty-two year old nephew lost control of his pickup and was killed, leaving us with broken hearts and a grief that is unspeakable.

We had been praying for Geoff. Some of his life choices concerned us. Geoff was a Christian but ran with young people who had no interest in the Lord. We prayed God would intervene, would bring Christian friends into his life, that he would tire of that life style. His mom prayed that God would bring him through this season of life.

We didn’t get our miracle that day. God didn’t take over the controls of that truck and steer it away from the trees. 

We didn’t get our miracle that day. But Geoff did. We are living with death. Geoff is living life. We grieve. He praises God. We mourn. He rejoices.

We are a family of faith. And I can honestly say that we don’t blame God. We’re not angry that we didn’t get our miracle. We know God loves Geoff more than we ever could. But people of faith still hurt when a loved one dies. That void, that empty chair will always be there this side of heaven.

But we don’t grieve like those who have no hope. Because, one day I’ll see those sparkling big brown eyes again and I’ll see that ornery grin. My hope is built on Jesus and he promised he was preparing a place for us in heaven. Geoff is there because he knew Christ as his Savior. 

Can I ask you to pray for us today? Geoff’s mom, dad and sister, his aunts and uncle, cousins who loved him like a brother. We are hurting today. The memory of what happened one year ago is still so fresh. My prayer is that we will honor God in our time of grief. May we still choose to praise God for the privilege of having Geoff in our lives. I wish you’d known him. You would have loved him, too.

May 12

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Psalms 55, 58, 61, 62, 63; 2 Samuel 17:24-18:18; I Chronicles 2:17

I imagine most of us have felt what David felt when he wrote Psalm 55. His heart was in anguish. He was terrified and overwhelmed. And he said… Oh that I had the wings of a dove! I’d fly away and be at rest.

I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life when a pair of wings would have come in handy. But I’ve discovered there are other methods of escape. I can lock myself away and turn off my phone. I can sit down and eat an entire box of Girl Scout cookies or Triscuits. Some people drink alcohol or do drugs to escape.

Here’s what David did. Verse 16 says… But I call to God and the Lord saves me. 

In the other psalms we read today David says things like “I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings”. “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him”. David calls God his rock, his fortress.

Then in Psalm 63 David expresses what I think God would have me hear today. David doesn’t plead with God to change the situation. He asks God for Himself. “My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you.” “On my bed I remember you.” “My soul clings to you”.

I am reminded that God wants to be all I need in every aspect of life. It’s easier to see him in the good things. But it’s even better to see him when I’m hurting. And you know what? He never fails.

Today is Mother’s Day and I will tell you it is not a happy day for me. I’ve never had the privilege of being a mom. My dear mother has been gone for 17 years. For reasons beyond my control I cannot have contact with my step-mother who was such a part of our lives for 12 years. And my sister is facing this day without her son. My heart is heavy and, to tell you the truth, I long for a pair of wings.

So I will run to my Rock and hide underneath his wings. I will cling to my Savior because he understands me. I will shed some tears because I am sad. But I will praise him because, even though I grieve the losses, I am blessed because of the very real privilege of having these dear ones in my life. 

God, hear my prayer today. Be my strength and my joy. Hold me while I grieve. May I allow you to be exactly what I need today. Thank you for wanting to.

January 5

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Job 1-3

I remember the moment I learned my nephew Geoff died in an auto accident. I remember the panic, the confusion. I remember how hard it was to breathe. I remember the tears and the pain. The news of that sudden death tore through me like a knife.

Is that how Job felt the day he lost everything? Does losing ten children hurt worse than losing one? How can you measure grief?  I was Geoff’s aunt, not his mom. Does that mean my grief is insignificant?

I have found that grief is very personal. Each member of my family has dealt with Geoff’s death differently. Some cry openly. Others control their tears until they are alone. Some want to talk about Geoff and some still find talking about him too painful.

Job’s first reaction to the news of his great loss was to fall on his knees before God. He said something like… You give and you take away. I have nothing that didn’t come from you. And I will praise you today and every day.

That’s not easy. But it’s right. We were blessed to have Geoff in our lives for 22 incredible years. And now that he has seen Jesus and experienced heaven, Geoff wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. There is an enormous comfort in knowing that.

So it’s not a matter of degree. Grief is grief. Loss is loss. But we can learn from Job to praise God in every circumstance. I don’t know what, if any, loss you are experiencing now. But I do know first hand that God is praise-worthy. I would never tell you to get over it or stop being sad. Those are things you have to deal with in your own time. But I will tell you that there is strength available to get you through today. There is joy in knowing the Lord and trusting Him with every detail of your life, even the darkest places.

May we, like Job, praise God.